How many people go through their lives struggling to overcome an experience or circumstance that has left them broken inside; a wound that has bled into every facet of their consciousness, corrupting their good judgment, clouding their self awareness, and burying itself deep within their psyche, like a parasite feeding off their soul? We all carry the scars of past relationships gone wrong, expectations unfulfilled, and achievements that never were; yet unlike physical scars, many of us never fully recover from our injuries - we simply bandage the wound and continue building our world on top of it.
I’ve known some broken people; I’ve seen how grief, disappointment, fear, and anger can slowly tear a person apart; leaving family and friends in the wake as collateral damage. There have been moments in my life where, looking back on it now, I realize that I nearly let a bad experience or relationship take control of me. There’s no doubt that there will be moments in my future when I’m tested again; that’s simply a part of the human condition. But what I’ve realized, in my brief time on this planet, is that you just have to let that shit go. The past is the past. What happened, happened. And in my opinion, good or bad, those experiences had to happen - they’re what made us who we are today. Life would be out of balance if only good things happened in our lives, and if you look closely, it’s the challenges we face in life that build the most character within. Unfortunately, too few people realize this.
You can’t control what happens to you (for the most part), but you can control how you react to it. In my opinion, this idea represents the tipping point between the philosophies of free will and determinism. To a degree, we all exist inside a framework of determinism (or “fate”). There will be things that happen to us that are beyond our control. However, we also have the free will to choose how we react to these circumstances, and it’s that same free will that decides whether we remain a slave to the echoes of our past, or use the lessons we’ve learned to better prepare for the future. Think about the various people in your life. How many do you know that are slaves to their past? Which ones are busy making their own future? What are the differences in your perception of those individuals? In my experience, there’s a direct corollary between their overall level of “happiness” and the answers to the questions I posed above.
So which category do you fall in to?
If you’ve mastered the art of letting go, I applaud you. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s very freeing once you’ve found it. If you’re haunted by the past, take some time to think about how you’ve let it affect you, and evaluate the true impact of it on your future. More than likely, it’s impact on your future is simply a function of it’s impact on your psyche - if you let it go, it will gradually fade into the background of your life. That’s a choice only you can make.
If you’ve ever been wronged by a lover - let it go.
If you’ve ever been hurt by a friend or family member - let it go.
If you’ve ever been fired from a job - let it go.
If you’ve ever failed at a business venture - let it go.
You can’t change the past, but you can make your future. Good or bad, whatever happened to you happened for a reason. Find that reason, learn from it, and let go of the weight you’ve been carrying around with you. We only have so much time on this planet. How you experience it while you’re here is entirely up to you.
